A cross-cultural marriage là gì
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 Cross-cultural marriage mentoring offers an attractive framework for racial and marital harmony by dispelling false assumptions and demonstrating how to constructively work through differences. The ChoisIn many ways, Jason and Julie Choi are a typical Christian couple. Happily married for thirteen years, they are exuberant when talking about their faith, their children and their church. But in one critical way – their inter-ethnic marriage – Jason and Julie are not typical. Jason, whose Korean name is Chung-Ho, emigrated from South Korea with his parents as a teenager. Julie left her native home of Australia in her late twenties to attend seminary in the United States (where she met Jason), eventually becoming a naturalized citizen. Now in their late forties, Jason and Julie are founders and pastors of a growing 400-member church called “The Bridge.” After meeting Jason and Julie at an alumni function for the seminary, I invited them to lunch to get to know them better and learn about both the apparent success of their inter-ethnic marriage and the phenomenal church growth they were experiencing. Julie opened, summarizing highlights of how they met as well as the challenges posed by their different cultural backgrounds. Her demeanor shifted from carefree to thoughtful as she recounted their struggles when her direct and abrasive “down-under” communication style nearly drove Jason away during those early years. Jason agreed, noting its negative impact on their conflict resolution and decision-making process for years to come. Their greatest difficulty, however, was regulating the influence their families (especially Jason’s) had on their relationship. For Jason, family honor and parental deference are culturally ingrained attitudes that are highly valued in South Korean culture. He is aware that his challenge has always been to maintain this ancient eastern respect while also protecting his very western marriage. Nevertheless, Julie and Jason’s marriage is working. They shared with me three keys to their marital health. First, they emphasized the importance of prayer – asking God’s help to prioritize His will over their own cultural reactions. Second, they talked about graciousness – prioritizing mutual nurture over the need to be right. And third, they highlighted the role of marriage mentoring – serving as accountability partners with other couples. This, particularly, intrigued me, and I longed to hear more. The BridgeJason and Julie described how their church, The Bridge, has indeed become a model for cross-cultural marriage mentoring. In the early days of the church, only a handful of couples attended. “It didn’t take Jason and me long to realize that most of these couples were having serious marital challenges similar to those we experienced,” Julie said. “We decided to establish marriage mentoring as a church core value.” Jason said, “It was clear that being present with Christ’s love to these couples, through their communication lapses, unhealthy boundaries, poor conflict resolution and selfish attitudes, was the most spiritual intervention that we could offer. And, these are all areas that God had given us tremendous growth through the culture clashes of our marriage.” Laughing, Julie added, “It reminded me of the biblical account when Mordecai told Esther that she had been ‘prepared for such a time as this.’ But, what I did not expect was the heightened intimacy that Jason and I would experience as a result of working with these couples. We started mentoring for others, but we keep mentoring for us.” Cross-Cultural Marriage MentoringJason and Julie’s experience confirmed some of my own perceptions regarding marriage mentoring. But, what impressed me most was their use of themselves and their own cultural differences to promote cross-cultural learning within their congregation and as an outreach to the surrounding community. Through transparently sharing from their own history and modeling healthy conflict resolution, Jason and Julie unwittingly challenged cultural expectations, stereotypes and prejudices within and outside of marriage. In doing so, they built a remarkable framework for both healthy marriages and church culture – one that promotes the diversity of ideas and experiences as important to understanding Christ’s kingdom. As a result, their church has become recognized as one of the most ethnically integrated and “marriage friendly” churches in their vicinity. Jason and Julie summarized three valuable benefits of their mentoring program. First, it fosters humility, as each spouse realizes that right and wrong in marriage are often cultural artifacts rather than absolute standards. Second, it fosters the possibility of integrating the best elements of each culture, rather than experiencing differences as deficits. And third, it promotes communication around the important issues of marriage over being frustrated with unmet assumptions. Interjecting a final point, Julie said, “Regardless of whether you are an inter-ethnic couple or even a Christian couple, these three benefits are marital growth principles. By espousing them in a nurturing environment, we believe couples see their mentoring relationships as a welcome bridge across the marital and social divide.” Copyright © 2008, Dr. Harold L. Arnold, Jr. All rights reserved. International copyright secured. Used by permission. Dynamic CTA Template BelowEntertainment Reviews Your Family Can TrustPlugged In shines a light on the world of popular entertainment while giving families the essential tools they need to understand, navigate, and impact the culture in which they live. Let us help your family make wise and informed choices about movies, TV shows, music, video games, and more! Talk to a Counselor If you need
further guidance and encouragement, Focus on the Family has a staff of licensed, professional counselors who offer a one-time complimentary consultation from a Christian perspective. They can also refer you to counselors in your area for ongoing assistance. There Is Still Hope for Your MarriageYou may feel that there is no hope for your marriage and the hurt is too deep to restore the relationship and love that you once had. The truth is, your life and marriage can be better and stronger than it was before. In fact, thousands of marriages, situations as complex and painful as yours, have been transformed with the help of professionals who understand where you are right now and care deeply about you and your spouse’s future. You can restore and rebuild your marriage through a personalized, faith-based, intimate program called, Hope Restored. There Is Still Hope for Your MarriageYou may feel that there is no hope for your marriage and the hurt is too deep to restore the relationship and love that you once had. The truth is, your life and marriage can be better and stronger than it was before. In fact, thousands of marriages, situations as complex and painful as yours, have been transformed with the help of professionals who understand where you are right now and care deeply about you and your spouse’s future. You can restore and rebuild your marriage through a personalized, faith-based, intimate program called, Hope Restored. There Is Still Hope for Your MarriageYou may feel that there is no hope for your marriage and the hurt is too deep to restore the relationship and love that you once had. The truth is, your life and marriage can be better and stronger than it was before. In fact, thousands of marriages, situations as complex and painful as yours, have been transformed with the help of professionals who understand where you are right now and care deeply about you and your spouse’s future. You can restore and rebuild your marriage through a personalized, faith-based, intimate program called, Hope Restored. Understand How to Respect and Love Your Son WellWhy doesn’t my son listen to me? Have you ever asked that question? The truth is, how you see your son and talk to him has a significant effect on how he thinks and acts. That’s why we want to help you. In fact, we’ve created a free five-part video series called “Recognizing Your Son’s Need for Respect” that will help you understand how showing respect, rather than shaming and badgering, will serve to motivate and guide your son. Focus on Parenting PodcastMom or dad, could you use some encouragement and support? Put your ear buds in for this Christian parenting podcast and get practical, faith-based inspiration through all stages of parenting. Hosted by Dr. Danny Huerta, in every 8 to 15 minute episode, you’ll hear parenting experts share Biblical truths, effective parenting techniques, and useful resources that will help you feel equipped as a mom or dad in today’s culture. Learn How to Speak Your Strong-Willed Child's LanguageIn this free 6-part video series, Cynthia Tobias, author of many popular parenting books including You Can’t Make Me, explains why your strong-willed child thinks in certain ways and gives you effective tools you can use when communicating with him or her. Start today! Get Equipped With the Truth So You Can Bring Light to the LiesAbortion is not an easy subject to talk about. You want to defend the truth, to expose the realities so easily confused during these times. Yet, it is so easy to tense up, to get nervous, to get so concerned with wanting to say the “right thing” that you end up saying nothing at all. If you feel at a loss when these conversations come up, this video series, “8 Lies About Abortion,” can help equip you with the truth, and the confidence to engage in the discussion. Journey with Jesus!This holiday season, take a journey to Galilee and discover what it was like to walk with Jesus! Get your copy for today for FREE with a donation of any amount! Next Steps: Marriage AssessmentWe want your marriage to be thriving and healthy. Take the free Marriage Assessment from Focus on the Family to learn how to strengthen your bond with your spouse and get the tools to help you need to grow closer together. Next Steps: Fruit of the Spirit Devotionals for CouplesThe Fruit of the Spirit Devotional is a free series of nine short videos to get you into God’s Word and inspire you to seek the Holy Spirit’s help in loving your spouse.
About the AuthorHarold L. ArnoldDr. Harold L. Arnold, Jr. is the president and founder of Discovering Family International (DFI), an organization which promotes the virtues and values of family life through education, consulting and counseling. Dr. Arnold is also the creator of the biblically-centered Marriage ROCKS‚Ñ¢ program, a marriage ministry that teaches couples the tenets of discovering authentic meaning in marriage. Dr. Arnold earned a Ph.D. and Master’s degrees from Temple University in Social and Organizational Psychology. Dr. Arnold also holds a Master’s degree in Marriage and Family Therapy from Fuller Theological Seminary. Dr. Arnold is a social and organizational psychologist with specific interests in issues pertaining to marriage and family education, church culture, African-American leadership and cross-cultural competence. Dr. Arnold resides in the Philadelphia metropolitan area with his wife, Dalia, and two children, Quilan and Kyrsten. You May Also Like
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Anyone who runs to sugar for comfort or a reward, who eats mindlessly or out of boredom, who feels physically and spiritually lethargic, or who struggles with self-control will discover here not only freedom from their cravings but an entirely new appetite for the good things God has for us. Understanding the Root of Your Child's Misbehavior - Part 1Often, children act out because they are used to getting attention through bad behavior. Dr. Kevin Leman offers advice to help parents transform their child’s behavior. He discusses the benefits of allowing your kids to learn from real-life consequences and describes the importance of understanding your child’s temperament based on his birth order. Dr. Kevin LemanDr. Kevin Leman is an internationally known family psychologist and an award-winning, New York Times best-selling author. He is also a popular public speaker and media personality who has made countless guest appearances on numerous radio and TV programs. Dr. Leman has written more than 50 books including The Birth Order Book, Have a New Kid by Friday and Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours. Why Your Kids Misbehave and What to Do about It
Tantrums. Talking back. Throwing toys or food. Meltdowns. Slamming doors. Kids know just how to push your buttons. You’ve tried all sorts of methods, but nothing seems to work. In this book, Dr. Kevin Leman reveals exactly why kids misbehave and how you can turn that behavior around with practical, no-nonsense strategies that really work . . . and are a long-term win for both of you. Understanding the Root of Your Child's Misbehavior - Part 2Often, children act out because they are used to getting attention through bad behavior. Dr. Kevin Leman offers advice to help parents transform their child’s behavior. He discusses the benefits of allowing your kids to learn from real-life consequences and describes the importance of understanding your child’s temperament based on his birth order. Dr. Kevin LemanDr. Kevin Leman is an internationally known family psychologist and an award-winning, New York Times best-selling author. He is also a popular public speaker and media personality who has made countless guest appearances on numerous radio and TV programs. Dr. Leman has written more than 50 books including The Birth Order Book, Have a New Kid by Friday and Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours. Why Your Kids Misbehave and What to Do about ItTantrums. Talking back. Throwing toys or food. Meltdowns. Slamming doors. Kids know just how to push your buttons. You’ve tried all sorts of methods, but nothing seems to work. In this book, Dr. Kevin Leman reveals exactly why kids misbehave and how you can turn that behavior around with practical, no-nonsense strategies that really work . . . and are a long-term win for both of you. Loving Your Spouse Through the Seasons of Marriage - Part 2Debra Fileta has identified the four seasons of marriage that correspond with our natural seasons – spring (new life and new love), summer (things get hot!), fall (showing our true colors), and winter (long days ahead). In this interview, she will help couples better understand the four seasons of healthy relationships, what to expect during each one, and how to carefully navigate them for a stronger marriage. Debra FiletaDebra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married Sex, Choosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage.
Love in Every Season: Understanding the Four Stages of a Healthy RelationshipEvery relationship goes through four life-changing seasons: Spring. Summer. Fall. Winter. Each season plays an important role in taking your relationship to the next level. And depending on how you navigate each season, your relationship will either flourish and grow, or it will slowly die. Whether you’re single, dating, engaged or married, join licensed professional counselor and relationship expert, Debra Fileta as she takes you on an eye-opening psychological and spiritual journey through the four seasons that she has observed in every healthy relationship. Reconciling Faith and Science in a Medical CrisisDr. Lee Warren is a neurosurgeon who has faced many heavy challenges in his life – from serving in the Iraq War to removing deadly brain tumors to experiencing the loss of a teenage son. He’ll share about his difficult quest to find answers to some of life’s toughest questions, while holding onto his faith in God and the sure hope of heaven Dr. Lee WarrenW. Lee Warren, M.D., is a brain surgeon , inventor, Iraq War veteran, and author of I’ve Seen the End of You: A Neurosurgeon’s Look at Faith, Doubt, and the Things We Think We Know, winner of the Christian Book Award®. His previous book, No Place to Hide, was included on the 2015 U.S. Air Force Chief of Staff’s Recommended Reading List. Dr. Warren has appeared on The 700 Club and the CBS Evening News, and his writings have been featured in Guideposts magazine. His Dr. Lee Warren Podcast, which is heard in more than 60 countries, helps listeners use the power of neuroscience, faith, and common sense to change their lives. I've Seen the End of You: A Neurosurgeon's Look at Faith, Doubt, and the Things We Think We KnowThis gripping inspirational memoir grapples with the tension between faith and science—and between death and hope—as a seasoned neurosurgeon faces insurmountable odds and grief both in the office and at home. Praying Scripture Over Your Child’s Life - Part 1Jodie Berndt loves to pray for her children. She’s been doing that for the past thirty years. Now she helps other parents to talk to God, asking for the salvation of their kids, and for wisdom, self-discipline, purpose, a future and much more. She offers fun and practical encouragement that moms and dads can put to work immediately in their daily lives as they prepare their children for a life in Christ. Jodie BerndtJodie Berndt is a public speaker, a Bible teacher, and the the author of 10 books. Find out more about Jodie and get some free resources (including printable prayer cards and calendars) at her website, jodieberndt.com. Praying the Scriptures Over Your ChildrenYou will discover how using the Bible to shape your desires and requests opens the door to God’s provision—and frees us from things like worry and fear in our parenting! This expanded edition of the bestseller features updated content on issues like technology and identity, and comes with new material designed to invite children into the family prayer circle. Purchase now and receive 10% off your product. Mothers and Sons: Being a Godly Influence - Part 1Rhonda Stoppe describes her early motherhood challenges of raising a son, which was intimidating to her. She found help through group of older women mentors. She urges moms to see their role as ministry in shaping sons to be good and godly men. Rhonda outlines several practical suggestions to moms about spiritual training, how to communicate with boys, and supporting the father-son relationship as a wife. Rhonda StoppeDrawing upon 35 years of experience as a mentor, pastor’s wife, and homeschool mom, Rhonda Stoppe offers encouragement and guidance to women as an author and public speaker. She is popularly known as the “No Regrets Woman,” as she is especially passionate about helping women live life without regrets. Rhonda’s books include Moms Raising Sons to Be Men, Real Life Romance, and The Marriage Mentor, which she co-authored with her husband, Steve. Moms Raising Sons to Be MenMothers of boys have the special calling to shape future men of God. Popular speaker Rhonda Stoppe, mom to two sons, knows this opportunity is a challenge, a joy, and probably the most important work of a woman’s life. Drawing from years of experience, this inspirational resource will revive the faithfulness and fortitude a woman needs to partner with God as they shape the character and heart of a future godly man. Identifying Triggers in Your Marriage Part 1They were both convinced they had married the wrong person. From almost the very beginning of their marriage, Amber and Guy Lia experienced various tensions and personality clashes related to house cleaning, backseat driving, workaholism, and intimacy. In this two-day Focus on the Family broadcast, Amber and Guy discuss how they bravely faced the triggers head-on, and committed to working on their own relationships with Jesus. As you listen to the Lia’s story, you’ll feel hope that you, too, can see real marriage transformation! Mr. and Mrs. Guy and Amber Lia and Mrs. Jean DalyAmber Lia is a work-at-home mom, blogger, public speaker, and co-author of two best-selling books. Her husband, Guy, is a former TV, feature film, and VFX development and production executive who has worked on popular TV shows and films. Guy and Amber own Storehouse Media Group, a faith- and family-friendly TV and film production company based in Los Angeles, Marriage Triggers: How You and Your Spouse Can Exchange Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical ResponsesA husband-wife team offers practical advice for married couples to end the cycle of reactionary arguments by examining the most common issues that trigger disagreements and apply God’s Word to radically transform relationships. What to Do When You're Not Okay - Part 1Life can be pretty stressful. Between work, relationships, and other obligations, the pressure builds, and we lose sight of who we are. Counselor Debra Fileta helps you better understand your emotions, assess your mental, physical, and spiritual health, and intentionally pursue a path to wellbeing. In dealing with anxiety, depression, and panic attacks, Debra understands the importance of self-examination as well as the benefits of seeking professional help. She offers biblically-based advice, tools, and encouragement to help you get on a path toward healing and wholeness. Mrs. Debra FiletaDebra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married Sex, Choosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage. Debra resides in Pennsylvania with her husband, John, and their four children. Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You AreIn Are You Really OK? author and licensed counselor Debra Fileta challenges you to get real with who you are and how you’re doing spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically so you can recognize where you need growth and healing. Navigating a Toxic Culture with Your Daughter - Part 1As a pediatrician, Dr. Meg Meeker has seen thousands of girls come through her office through the years. They struggle with eating issues, sexual identity, social media…and many other challenges in this toxic culture. Dr. Meeker will encourage parents to invest love and time in their daughters and develop their character to give them the best opportunity for a bright future, all rooted in a spiritual foundation. The discussion also includes healthy feminism vs. toxic feminism Mrs. Meg Meeker
Dr. Meg Meeker is a pediatrician who is widely recognized as one of the country’s leading authorities on parenting, teens and children’s health. With appearances on numerous nationally syndicated radio and TV programs, her popularity as a an expert on key issues confronting families has created a strong following across America. Her work with countless families over the years served as the inspiration behind her best-selling books which include Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters, Strong Mothers, Strong Sons and The Ten Habits of Happy Mothers. Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture: 11 Steps to Keep Her Happy, Healthy, and SafeMeg Meeker has been a pediatrician for more than thirty years, is a mother and a grandmother, and has seen it all. She knows what makes for strong, happy, healthy young women–and what puts our daughters at risk. Combining that experience with her famous common sense, she explains the eleven steps that will help your daughter–whether she’s a toddler or a troubled teen–to achieve her full human potential. Newest Release - Episode 1: The Truth About Life! In this episode, we will tackle tough questions like, “When does life begin?” and “What does the Bible Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text! |
