Are you a good listener? Let's find out.
On a scale of 25-100 [100 = highest], how do you rate yourself as a listener? _____
Let’s find out how accurate your perception is. Rate yourself in the following situations and total your score.
4 = Usually, 3 = Frequently, 2 = Sometimes, 1 = Seldom
____ I try to listen carefully even when I’m not interested in the topic.
____ I’m open to viewpoints that are different from my own.
____ I make eye contact with the speaker when I’m listening.
____ I try to avoid being defensive when a speaker is venting negative emotions.
____ I try to recognize the emotion under the speaker’s words.
____ I anticipate how the other person will react when I speak.
____ I take notes when it’s necessary to remember what I’ve heard.
____ I listen without judgment or criticism.
____ I stay focused even when I hear things I don’t agree with or don’t want to hear.
____ I don’t allow distractions when I’m intent on listening.
____ I don’t avoid difficult situations.
____ I can ignore a speaker’s mannerisms and appearance.
____ I avoid leaping to conclusions when listening.
____ I learn something, however small, from every person I meet.
____ I try not to form my next response while listening.
____ I listen for main ideas, not just details.
____ I know my own hot buttons.
____ I think about what I’m trying to communicate when I speak.
____ I try to communicate at the best possible time for success.
____ I don’t assume a certain level of understanding in my listeners when speaking.
____ I usually get my message across when I communicate.
____ I consider which form of communication is best: email, phone, in-person, etc.
____ I tend to listen for more than just what I want to hear.
____ I can resist daydreaming when I’m not interested in a speaker.
____ I can easily paraphrase in my own words what I’ve just heard.
____ Total
75-100 = You’re an excellent listener and communicator. Keep it up.50-74 = You’re trying to be a good listener, but it’s time to brush up.
25-49 = Listening isn’t one of your strong points. Start paying attention.
Learn how to be a better listener: Active Listening.
Joe Grimm's Listen and Lead project is a fabulous collection of listening tools. If your listening could be improved, get help from Joe. He's a professional listener.
Although listening is the first language skill that human beings develop--and it's how we spend 40% of our time communicating--many of us are not great listeners.
In fact, we achieve only 25% of our listening potential--mostly because we're too busy, too distracted and too focused on what we're going to say next.
- the most frequently reported communication deficiency among new hires
- the second most challenging aspect of communication [after motivating people] for all employees
- the second most critical development need [after motivating people] for leaders and managers
So it's a good idea to work on our listening, which Merriam Webster defines as "to hear something with thoughtful attention: give consideration."
Let's start by testing your knowledge. Answer true or false to each of the following statements:
1. Listening is the same as hearing.
2. Listening skills develop naturally.
3. People with higher IQs are better listeners.
4. Listening is a passive activity.
5. You can improve your ability to listen by moving to a different location.
6. The person speaking is responsible for making sure his/her message is understood.
7. To be a better listener, sit up straight.
8. If someone doesn't agree, he/she is not listening.
9. Asking questions improves listening effectiveness.
Ready to see how you did? Here are the answers:
1. FALSE: Just because you hear the speaker's voice doesn't mean you're listening. Hearing is the body's natural response to sound, while listening involves actively gathering information to develop a clear understanding of the message.
2. TRUE but also FALSE: While it's true that humans are born with the ability to listen--after all, it's how we learn to speak--effective listening skills must be carefully developed through effort and practice.
3. FALSE: Just because someone has a high intellect doesn't mean the person is an expert listener. Studies show that listening and intelligence are not related.
4. FALSE: Effective listening gives the body and mind a rigorous workout, causing a faster heart rate, quicker blood circulation and a rise in the body's temperature.
5. TRUE.Your office space is a breeding ground for distractions. Email, ringing phones, smartphones and paperwork are like Kryptonite that can drain your power to listen. The next time you need to have an important conversation with a colleague, leave your office and meet in a location that's free from distractions.
6. FALSE: The speaker and the listener share responsibility for successful communication.
7. TRUE: Whether you're sitting or standing, keep your hands open and your arms at your sides. Leaning toward the speaker demonstrates that you are interested in what the speaker is saying--and actually helps you pay attention.
8. FALSE: Just because a coworker [or a friend, a spouse or a political opponent] doesn't follow your suggestions or directions doesn't mean he/she isn't listening to you. Effective listening does not guarantee agreement.
9. TRUE: One of the best ways to improve your listening skills is by asking more questions. Your question can be as simple as "How are things going?" or "How's your job been lately?"
Test your listening comprehension by taking our 5 question quiz. First you'll listen to a 2 minute news story about volcanoes. Listen as many times as you like. After you answer the questions, you'll see how good of a listener you are!
Teachers: your students can take the quiz too!
Take Quiz
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